I'm a sinner

That's something I confessed when I became a christian. It's something I admit to now and again. But in the small hours of the morning, it really hit me how in just one aspect of my life I sin big time!

I've got a large form of 29 kids. Most are ok kids. One is small, uses puppy-dog eyes to look at me. He's quiet in form and in maths and also hard-working. Yet this child I see is not the child others see! In most other lessons he is silly, misbehaving and a nuisance! He often back-chats the teachers and over the last 2 days has had fights three times with other members of the form during a lesson. He has also been reported by prefects for spitting at them and swearing at them when he got told to stop! I had a chat to him yesterday because I want to get to the bottom of why he acts like this. To me, he's a nice kid. I want to help mold his character.

I have another boy in my form. He lies, he stabs girls with pins, he is incapable of speaking the truth to anyone. He has previously accused a teacher of sexual harassment. We have been warned never to be alone with him. I confess that when he's around, my flesh crawls.

In the middle of the night, I was lying awake. I decided to pray for the first boy. I'm concerned for him. I asked the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and guidance. I added "give me wisdom to deal with the others too". Hasty words! God's Holy Spirit inside me told me to love them!

Ok, I love them. No I don't!!! Most of my form I just have ok feelings towards. A couple, like lad number 2, I really can't be bothered with! The first, I really want to help!

God's word tells me I need to love everyone as God loves them. When I fail to do God's will, I don't just fail to do his will. I sin!

Everytime I don't show God's love to another human being, I'm not being disobedient, I'm sinning!

I have never before realised the immensity of just failing on this one thing.