Getting Changed

Ephesians 4 : 17 - 24 tells us to put off our old selves, the way we think and act, and take on our new selves.

When the Holy Spirit enters our lives he enables us to change how we are. Not who we are, but how we react, how we think, how we interact with others.

The problem is, this isn't some instantaneous result of becoming a Christian. This is a conscious act we need to make. It's a daily, if not moment by moment, decision we need to make if we are to be effective for God.

The other day someone said something to me at work and I had to struggle with how my mind dealt with the comment. Eventually, after asking God to help, I viewed the comment from a totally different perspective and saw it as an opportunity not a threat.

This "new attitude of mind" that Paul talks about requires practice, daily decisions to do things God's way. We don't do this in weakness but, because Jesus lives in us, His Holy Spirit gives us the power and authority to live as God desires.

I've got a challenging day today - I'm going over to visit one of our customers with the MD. I've never done anything like this before and naturally I'm scared, unprepared and worried I'll let the side down. I thought I was just going to be sitting there looking efficient (hopefully) but yesterday the boss told me I'd be taking the lead at some point! Mega scarey! I've prayed, I've prepared and now I feel ready. I could still let the side down, but I know I won't let God down if I allow Him to guide me through the process.

If God has placed me in this job, he's placed me in this position today and it won't be to fail but to succeed! I know I can do this, I just have to put off my old self of condemnation and put on my new self as a child of the Living God. Whatever the company implications of today's visit, my role is to glorify God in everything I do and say. What a great opportunity!

Mimics

Eph 5:1

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.

How many of us have watched children grow and develop. It appears they develop their own personality, their own way of doing things. In many ways, each of us is unique. Yet each of us are imitators of those closest to us - for many - our parents.

10 years ago I visited my sister in Australia. She'd lived there for 10 years and had had little close contact with us for several years before. Mum surprised us with a visit part way through and one night we went out for a meal. Liz and Mum sat side by side and it was startling how similar they were. I'm not just meaning their appearance (although mum's hair was grey :-) ), it was their mannerisms.

We pick up little nuances, such as posture, fidgets, facial expressions etc without realising we're doing it. We pick up phrases and ideals without realising we're doing it. How many times as a child/teenager did I hear my mum say things which annoyed me and yet those very words and tones I use with my own children these days.

God wants us, as His children, to mimic Him. It's a bit hard just through reading a lot of Laws to know the Father - although King David's love for his Father enabled Him to know Him. God helped us by sending His Son, Jesus, as an example of how his Law is to be lived. What it means to live the way God intended us to live.

How often have young people been told "What would Jesus say if he saw you doing that???" When really they should be encouraged to think "What would Jesus DO in this situation?"

We need to be imitators of the perfect example. We need to be reading God's word, along with spending time with Him each day. That way, it's so much easier to become an imitator. We cannot imitate someone we don't know. We need to get to know God intimately if we are to have any hope of imitating Him like a child imitates his parents.

Ephesians

For the past week I've been going through Ephesians as part of my daily readings. I've been meaning to write about what I've been learning/what God is saying to me etc, but I haven't had the time in the mornings and I've forgotten what I wanted to write by the evening. (ooh that implies I've forgotten what God had said to me!) Anyway, here's today's thoughts from Ephesians 2: 1- 9

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,

made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions

—it is by grace you have been saved.

God chose to love me. His love for me is not conditional on my loving Him. His love for me is not conditional on my obeying Him. His love for me is not conditional on the work I do for Him. His love for me is not conditional on the work I do for Him.

God's love for me is a gift, freely given, that I may enjoy life, that I may propser and that I may life a life so full that I can only praise Him for his love and for all that I have.

Yes, there are conditions for following Him, but there are no conditions to receiving His love or for remaining loved.

His love is a gift He will never take away from me.

Romans 12

Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy,

to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,

holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

I find this quite an intriguing verse. What does God mean by my offering my body as a living sacrifice?

At present I am "morbidly obese". Now to look at me, I have to admit I am overweight. But sadly our culture has so many oveweight people that we no longer recognise those who's lives may be in some health danger.

Two weeks ago, Ian and I joined Weightwatchers. My target at the moment is to weigh less than he does! But it's a tough struggle when he loses twice as much as me each week!

I looked at this verse and wondered about how to present my body as a living sacrifice. Now I may be wrong here, but my thoughts came up with 3 areas.

First My body must be healthy. To be healthy I need to be eating correctly and exercising. I really can't believe I added the second part! I need to make sure I am not being tempted to eat junk food, chocolate, fatty foods etc but instead I should eat plenty of fruit, vegetables, fibre etc. (The exercise bit I'll think about later!)

Secondly Greed! it's all very well eating healthy food, but even too much of it will cause obesity! The idea is to stop when you begin to feel full and not continue until the plate is cleared or you are stuffed! This is a tough one if you've been brought up to always clear your plate "think of the starving children in India". The solution is to cook less and put less on your plate. I've started putting bigger helpings on Ian's plate and half as much on mine! Sadly he still lost more than me this week!

Third Appropriate appearance! Away from the food aspect is appearance. People make their assumptions about us from how we initially appear. it's important to always look our best whilst taking into consideration the place we are and the purpose for our being there. A ball gown is not appropriate for a camping holiday and shorts and t-shirts are not appropriate for office work. I've always tried to think that the best way to dress is fashionable but not trendy. Our clothes need to be clean, well cared for and sensible. Inappropriate dress can hinder how others view us and therefore affect the the way others view Jesus.

Before presenting herself to the King, Queen Esther spent 3 days fasting and praying before she entered the throne room. She spent time preparing herself with perfumes and ensuring she looked her very best.

Each day, we seek an audience with the King of kings. Shouldn't we take just as much care of how we look?

I'm still stuck on how this "taking care of my body" is an act of spiritual worship, but I know that today, whenever I was tempted by the vending machine at work, the act of giving my body as a living sacrifice kept me away.

The weight loss will be a long slow process, but hopefully with God's help this time I will succeed!

Time

I've now twice begun reading a book. Both times I haven't got beyond the first chapter. Last time, the time wasn't right. This time, it's because there's a lot to think about.

The book is geared at the busy woman. Life Management for Busy Women by Elizabeth George.

It begins by stressing that if we give time to God, spending time in his word, we will gain more time to accomplish the tasks he sets before us each day.

Three simple steps

1. Give time to God

2. Make it the first thing each morning.

3. Do it early each day.

Our ritual in the morning is for the alarm to go off, and whilst I wake slowly Ian goes off for his shower. After a real struggle to stir this morning I reached for my bible. I have to admit this is the first time for a long time I've reached for it early in the day!

I hadn't a clue where to start, so I asked God and he directed me to Romans 12.

The words I read there have kept me strong today.

I've always found that when I give God the first time of each day, my life seems to fall into place better. Things may go wrong, but by giving God some time to talk to me, I find I am better equipped for the day.

So, for now, it's early time first thing for me.

Captivating

I've been captivated by the love of Jesus since reading Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge. I was amazed at how long it took me to read through this book. It's only 200 pages and with a week avoiding the burning spanish sun, I had plenty of time to read. But this is a book that requires thoughtful reading if it is to be effective in your life.

I'd better add, this is a book for women. When read by a man, it will provide insight into his loved one but it's main aim is at the heart of a woman's soul.

I've found that in the past couple of days I've found it so much easier to see myself as being truly loved by Jesus. I've always accepted that his love for me led him to the cross. But I've seen it as a love which will bring me into God's presence.

Now I see it as so much more. Jesus pursued me. I didn't find him, he chose me. He chose me because he desired me to be his loved one and to enter into an intimate relationship with him that extends to so much more than just being a person who can stand in the throne room of the Almighty God.

I guess I've always seen myself as one of the courtiers in the crowd of a royal throne room, but Jesus sees me as so much more.

Whilst away

I had a worrying email from my daughter yesterday. It informed me that something terrible had happened but not to worry!

Why do we say that? The natural reaction is always to imagine the worst. In this case, I hadn't imagined the worst. But almost the worst the happened!

On Thursday night our home was burgled. Not much was taken, but it's an awful thought that someone has been in your house whilst you sleep. Sadly, it was the boys who were home when the burglary happened and they were fearful of telling us.

Rob, in his anger and frustration punched a wall and has badly broken his hand. Thankfully, their immediate reaction on discovery of the theft was to inform the police - and then Rob went to the hospital!

The children are all blaming themselves. I've assured them that there are so many "If only"s that no one person can take the blame. The only people who are guilty are the people who grabbed an opportunity to take another person's property.

Tonight we return home. I told them that the only reason I will be angry is if they have failed to supply Ian and I with milk for breakfast tomorrow! We both leave for work around 7 and will have no chance to purchase any. The burglary is done, they police have been informed, the children now need assurance of safety in their own home, not recriminations.

Special Day

Today has been a special day. 47 years ago, my mum gave birth to me.

Ian and I have been enjoying the spanish sun and food for the past 5 days and today, after a magnificant 2 hour lunch we returned to mum's.

After a rest (it's amazing how exhausting a big meal can be) we all went down to Mum's pool. Ian and I stood either side of Mum and after 60 years since she became a Christian, mum was finally baptised. It was a special day!

Mum emailed me several months ago to ask if I would baptise her this week and I've been so excited ever since. When I arrived, she hadn't mentioned it since the email but I was determined to do it. I mentioned it to Mum and she suggested today. It appears that her desire hadn't faded. In fact she was excited at the thought that on the day she celebrated giving life to me, I could celebrate bringing her into a new life.

What a fantastic place to be baptised! In your own pool, in the middle of breathtaking spanish beauty!

Great Expectations

I started a new job last week and spent 1 1/2 days being trained. This week I've been basically on my own. For the first time in my life I've spent a whole week feeling totally lost and hopeless! Usually, after a couple of days I'm beginning to find my way around and understand at least a small portion of what's expected of me. This has not been the case here!

For the past couple of days I've just wanted to get out! A couple of times to even just walking out and not going back!

This morning I asked God to get involved. As I walked out to the car I asked God to help me through the day. I reminded myself of the jobs I hadn't got believing that they were not where God wanted me. Therefore if I got this job, it must be because this is where God does want me!

As I turned on the engine a new song began on the cd player.

Beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour

I know for sure all of my days are held in Your hand.

Crafted into Your perfect plan.

You gently call me into Your presence

Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit,

Teach me dear Lord.

To live all of my life

through your eyes.

I'm captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart,

I know You're drawing

me to Yourself

Lead me Lord, I pray.

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me,

I give my life to the Potter's hand.

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me

I give my life, to the Potter's hand.

I left work at the end of the day amazed at the difference I had felt today at work. I began to accept that I was able to do things. I no longer felt like a failing cog in a large engine!

I went over to The King's Lodge and met with a few friends. When I mentioned how my day had been different and told them of my prayer, one man of God said "You know why God answered your prayer? Because you expected him to!"

How often do we pray and not expect God to answer? Yet Jesus said

Mark 11:24

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer,

believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

I had to admint, that I KNEW God would answer my prayer today.

A simple lesson, yet one I'm sure I will need to keep learning until expecting God to answer my prayers becomes the norm rather than the unusual!

Let's raise our expectations!

A Pure Heart and Joy!

I've been struck recently by comments about being pure in heart.

Psalm 51:10 - 13 says

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will turn back to you.

There are 2 things that strike me.

First we need to be seeking God for a pure heart. We cannot be pure on our own. It is only by living God's way and continually acknowledging and accepting our need for forgiveness that we can have a pure heart.

The second has been niggling me for a while and came home more strongly last night. We heard about 2 women who had become Christians at the Alpha course this week. We prayed that their joy would be contagious.

Where's the joy of my salvation?? Why do I no longer live a life that overflows with joy for the salvation I received?

These verses are my prayer for the moment.

Restore to me the joy of my salvation, then I will be enthusiastic about spreading the good news of Jesus and the wonderful things he has done and is doing in my life!

Another new mission field?

Yesterday we viewed what could be our next new home. It's slightly smaller than our present home but in an area where we believe God is asking us to go.

If our offer is accepted, we then need a buyer for our present property!

God has a lot of changes He is revealing to us at present and it's almost too much to keep up.

I'm just glad He's got everything planned for our good and not to cause us discomfort and pain! Not getting the other jobs left me feeling slightly rejected, but almost immediately came a sense of calm knowing that those were not jobs He had prepared for me.

When we seek God in our decision-making we know all things will work together for good. At times it can still be frustrating and worrying whilst the wait goes on but our Father God tells us not to worry and by leaving things in His hands He will work them out in His time.

I'm so glad I have a hope and a future that is in His hands!

A new Mission Field

Today is a scary day! Today I begin work in a new place. A different environment. A different type of job.

I know I'll be able to do it, but there is this little niggle of doubt which I need to overcome. The recruitment agency sold me BIG time! I have a feeling I probably added to that at the interview! Now it's time to live up to a good reputation.

What if I fail? What if I'm NOT capable of doing all the things I said I could do? What if I'm not the person I said I was?

Everyone at the King's Lodge exclaimed: Oh fantastic! A new job, a new mission field!

One more thing to worry about?

Confidence blown!

Over the past couple of weeks several things have hit my confidence. This has caused me to doubt the value of my words and stopped me from putting my thoughts to screen and blogging.

Slowly God has been reminding me of the promises of his word.

Jacqueline and I had spent some time looking at God's promises to us and realising the worth of knowing God's word in order to fight the lies of Satan. God's word is most certainly our strongest weapon against the deceiver. As we read and absorb God's promises to us we realise what a faithful and loving Father we have.

Deut 32:4 states

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,

and all his ways are just.

A faithful God who does no wrong,

upright and just is he.

All of God's promises to us are true and eternal. We love and worship an unchanging God who is incapable of lying. This gives us a security for living in confidence of who we are.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood,

a holy nation, a people belonging to God,

that you may declare the praises of him

who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

(1 Peter 2:9)

We need to be speaking out these words both to ourselves and to others as a statement as confirmation of who we are in order that we build up ourselves and those around us.

Confidence blown!

Over the past couple of weeks several things have hit my confidence. This has caused me to doubt the value of my words and stopped me from putting my thoughts to screen and blogging.

Slowly God has been reminding me of the promises of his word.

Jacqueline and I had spent some time looking at God's promises to us and realising the worth of knowing God's word in order to fight the lies of Satan. God's word is most certainly our strongest weapon against the deceiver. As we read and absorb God's promises to us we realise what a faithful and loving Father we have.

Deut 32:4 states

He is the Rock, his works are perfect,

and all his ways are just.

A faithful God who does no wrong,

upright and just is he.

All of God's promises to us are true and eternal. We love and worship an unchanging God who is incapable of lying. This gives us a security for living in confidence of who we are.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood,

a holy nation, a people belonging to God,

that you may declare the praises of him

who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

(1 Peter 2:9)

We need to be speaking out these words both to ourselves and to others as a statement as confirmation of who we are in order that we build up ourselves and those around us.

On the Move

Today, Ian and I have spent most of the morning and afternoon driving around villages looking for somewhere to live. We're now both settled on a particular village and interstingly found that all the properties available there we liked, yet the dozen we found from elsewhere we didn't like!

Sadly we got home too late to take a call from our own estate agents asking if someone could view. Hopefully they are interested enough to try again tomorrow.

It's a difficult time... do you sit at home all day, not daring to go out in case you miss a call? or do you carry on with normal life and hope potential vendors accept you are busy people?

We're hopeful that God has a good home planned and prepared for us and in return there are good people being prepared to take over our present home.

It's an exciting and interesting time! Added to the trial of job hunting...

I can't wait to see what else God has in store for our lives!

More good food!

All I ever seem to do is eat!

Last night the ladies from our cell group met up with the ladies from the Coventry church and enjoyed a buffet meal. Sitting around a circular table made it easy to chat with several people and we made sure that we sat by people we didn't know well. Several people took to changing seats when they arrived back with food, which meant that we got a chance to chat with even more people!

It was a good way to get to know the other women and a great ice-breaker for when we next meet!

Good Food, Excellent weekend

Ian and I had a lovely weekend in the Cotswolds. It's an area of the country I had never visited before and it was really beautiful.

Sadly we had lots of rain and instead of being able to really enjoy the sites we just dashed from shop to shop. As it was our paper wedding anniversary (1st) we'd decided to buy a picture. We saw lots of oil paintings, but I pointed out they were done on canvas and couldn't count. Thankfully we weren't excited about owning any of them anyway.

I was disappointed that most of the local images were of the villages themselves, but Ian and I are landscape lovers. It's a pity when it's such a beautiful area of the country that God's creation isn't more copied onto paper.

I have to admit that we also ate some amazing food! On Saturday night we ate in the hotel where we were staying and on Sunday morning were unable to eat anything other than a slice of toast with our tea or coffee! The Burford Lodge has recently been extensively refurbished and everything about it was excellent!

On our way home we visited an art gallery which had some delightful paintings in that we had viewed on our way down on Saturday. Together we chose a lovely sea scene! A bit odd when we were in the middle of the country, but Ian and I both love sea and sky scapes.

So we came home with our paper anniversary present afterall.

Special Days

Ian and are are off for the weekend to a delightful small hotel in the Cotswolds. Tomorrow will be one year since we became man and wife and we're looking forward to some quality time together.

The past 12 months have seen a lot of changes in both our lives and ourselves. God is doing amazing things and we are both aware of the changes he is doing in our lives.

Sadly, or maybe not, I received a letter today saying I hadn't been short-listed for a job I'd applied for. I'm not really upset, as I believe that I would have received an interview if the job was in God's plan. It just leaves that further time of unknowingness lying around.

But I know that my God is a God of love. Oddly enough, today's verse from Is 66:13 on our calender is:

As a mother comforts her child,

so I will comfort you.

God is my rock and my comforter, not only when I worry, but also when I don't know where I'm going.

Today though, I know where I'm going.... away!!!! yeah!!!!

See you all after my return!

The Stirring of the Spirit within me

It's been an odd day at work, the phone has been quiet, few people have called in and few have lurked in the reception area.

In place of the distractions has been a compelling desire to read my bible, friend's blogs and listen to a Hillsong's cd.

This afternoon I turned to Psalm 107 and read it through. At present my life is full of changes of direction and the words of this psalm were very reassuring.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the LORD say this—

those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands,

from east and west, from north and south.
Some wandered in desert wastelands,

finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,

and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,

and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way

to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love

and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he satisfies the thirsty

and fills the hungry with good things.

It's great to know that God's love is steadfast. He never changes how he deals with us. We are his redeemed children and we area blessed by his love for us.

I particularly liked verse 7 "He led them straight to a city where they could settle." as Ian and I are in the process of selling our house and moving to a new town/village. We have in our hearts the village he is calling us to, it's interesting how often though the natural way exerts it's power over our search for a new home. We fret and worry about our present house sale going well, that we achieve a good price and then that we find a new home that fits the bill and the bills!

Yet if we trust the love of our steadfast Father, I believe he will lead us straight to the place where we are to settle.

It's an exciting time!

God's People

On Sunday our cell group joined with the small congregation in Coventry. We'll be spending the rest of 2006 worshipping each week with this group of people and it was great to have been asked to join them in their pioneering work.

Chris H-H spoke on Sunday about being joined in unity. We've come together to do God's work and it's important that we are able to join as one and not see each group as a seperate group.

Chris mentioned Psalm 133

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard,

on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes!

It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion!

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life for evermore.

For me there was no difference between worshipping in the large congregation at Broughton Astley and worshipping with the much smaller group in Coventry. We were united in praise and we received God's blessing!

So I echo David, How good it is when brothers dwell in unity!

God's Peace

I've been having a great time working with Youth with a Mission at the King's Lodge the past couple of months! I would love to stay there and work full time!

At present I'm seeking God for where I should be after March and oddly enough I've been in quite a turmoil about staying at the Lodge. Yet on Saturday morning I woke up at peace!

Peace - because I believe God wants me to do what I don't want to do. I've started looking for jobs and saw a couple that interested me, yet the job that fascinates me the most I'm not motivated to apply for and another position which fascinates me less I feel excited about!

Life is full of questions and direction changes, yet with God's help we can find the right path. His plan for our lives is for our good, yet so often we try to make decisions without him.

Right now I want to live totally for God and that means seeking his good and perfect will for my life even if it's not exactly what I want to do. I want to do it because it's God's will.

My mind keeps coming back to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemene. He had a choice to cut and run or to go through with his Father's will. In reality, because of his love for his Father and his desire only to please him, Jesus had no choice. The same applies for us. If God asks us to do something we don't want to do, surely if we love him and want to obey him, then in reality, we do must do what he wants.

Word Cloud

Chris HH talked about a word cloud on his site the other day and I thought I'd have a go. It's interesting to see what I blog about! It's also interesting to wonder whether my blog is indicative of my everyday life and chat!

Am I being too fussy?

My husband has just gone into hospital for a knee operation. When asked his religion, we always say Christian. SO why oh why do they always write C of E?

Am I right to correct them? There are so many things in the Anglican church which I object to, such as the appointment of homosexual leaders, that I really don't like being associated with the Anglican church.

Has anyone got a solution for what they ask to be put on forms when they are completed by a third party?

Quandary

I'm sitting at my desk in a quiet reception area reading. The dilemma is - what to read!

I have before me my bible - which I need to spend some time with.

"Is that really you God?" by Loren Cunningham, the founder of YWAM. An excellent book telling the history and some of the amazing stories behind the group.

"Help! I'm leading part of my cell meeting" - (I've just read the appropriate part for tonight's cell)

and finally, the manual for my new phone! It's amazing, but seems so complicated compared with my old one!

Talking about the new phone - it's my first camera phone. Isn't it just so frustrating when the kids pick it up and quickly perform tasks with something that belongs to you not them? And in order for you to do it, you need to refer to the manual!

Our dog has also learnt to be wary of camera phones. I'm not sure if the kids always use the flash with theirs' indoors, but when I tried to take a pic of my dog this morning, he sat in his basket and turned his head to the wall! He just wouldn't turn around until I'd moved away! He looked like a naughty school boy sitting in the corner but in reality he was a dog with a fear of strong light. Thankfully my phone didn't need the flash and I eventually got a pick of him. Sadly he wasn't looking happy! He had a hangdog expression on his face, probably waiting for something nasty to happen!

When I get the software loaded onto the pc at home, I'll be able to add pics to my blog!

Hidden Depths

Yesterday I asked my son to help me dismantle 2 double wardrobes in our bedroom. There was a run of 4 double wardrobes along one wall and we'd decided to remove two from the middle and push the bed back into the gap.

As we pulled the second wardrobe out, my son noticed the carpet was sagging alongside the wall. We pulled the carpet back and discovered that the floor underneath was disintegrating! There appeared to be just an inch thick of plaster or cement, but there was nothing underneath to support the plaster! Previously there had been a fireplace and chimney breast in the room which the previous owners had removed. For some unknown reason, they had just filled in the space left with the plaster although there was no support underneath. They had then proceeded to place two large wardrobes over the weak floor.

As we pulled the carpet back the plaster just crumbled away! We now have a hole 4 foot wide and 3 feet deep in our bedroom floor!

It's really quite scary the bodge up jobs some people leave behind when they sell their homes. I only hope we don't leave an horrendous legacies for future owners of our property!

It's all good fun though! As long as the bed doesn't move in the night and fall down the hole... I'd hate to wake in the dining room!

Forgiveness

Yesterday was breakthrough day for me. To be honest, most days are breakthrough days at present.

David spoke on forgiveness and he had hardly started speaking when I knew there was one large area of my life that was causing me to feel bitterness and resentment. Now the person to whom I have these feelings is probably totally unaware of the fact, but the feelings I had were still incredibly strong within me and often caused me to well up with tears.

The amazing thing about God's forgiveness is the way he so gently brings us to an understanding of our wrong doing. Our response then is to either forget it (or at least try to! God's Holy Spirit will keep on convicting us until we repent) or to ask a gracious heavenly Father to forgive us.

Together with some friends, I asked God to forgive me and to give me the strength to forgive this person for the wrong they had done. I accept that he will probably never make up for what he has "stolen" from me, but God will.

Joel 2:24-26

25 "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—

It's a time of realising that when God repays the things we have lost, he does not repay in the way that we repay, like for like.

Whilst dishing up our evening meal yesterday, my eldest son said.

"I love eating here! Sunday roast in this house is the best there is! Just look at the colour of the vegetables, everything cooked to perfection, all the colour so bright! At xxxx's home, everything is over-cooked, the colour is lost and the flavour is gone."

Now this may seem an odd comment to relay here in the blog. But to me, this was just what I needed! I praised God that he was returning something I thought I had lost. There is a very tenuous link between the person I had to forgive and the comment Rob made, but the link was enough for me to know that God was letting me know he had begun my restoration process.

I cannot thank God enough for all he has done for me, for all he is doing now and for all he has planned for my future.

I know that God is faithful, that all he has planned for me is good. I am excited to place my life in his care and see the great things he has for me!

Encouragement

I often wonder why I write this blog. Part of it is to keep a record of my own thoughts, part of it is to be an encouragement to others, a small part is to just cry out when life gets to me.

Initially I used to check daily how many visitors I had to my site. I began to get hung up about how popular I was! These days, I rarely check the statistics. I don't believe my blog will ever attain high popularity and massive daily readership. It's just good to know some people read it. My readership hasn't grown dramatically, and most readers just log in occassionally. The great thing is, the feedback I get from people I know. They all say they find the blog encouraging.

I haven't asked in what way. But I just want to put it on record, for those of you who have told me you find the blog encouraging - THANK YOU!!! Thank you for being an encouragement for me to continue.

Dancing Partners

This morning at work, during the intercession time, we were given the illustration that our prayer times are a bit like dancing with a partner. When you first learn you're wooden and give up easily. With practise, things become easier.

When we watch an experienced dancing partnership, we see fluidity of movement and beauty as the pair move in a seemingly effortless way across the dance floor. Others can join them on the dance floor yet although each pair is moving independently of the others, there is no major collision, no bumping and pushing, but again, a seemingly effortless and beautiful movement of bodies.

Our prayer times were described as a dance with the Holy Spirit as our partner. At first it's a new relationship, one which we need to work on. With time and patience we can improve our dancing. The Holy Spirit is a tireless partner, eager to help us learn new things. When we come together with others to pray, it can become like a crowded dance floor where all are dancing to the same tune, all are moving beautifully together, yet independently.

I found the description enlightening and it somehow released me to pray with less fear of what the others around me would think. So often I can be nervous of praying in company. I worry I will fall over my words, stumble around and just generally make a fool of myself. I even sometimes worry that what I say may almost be taken wrongly and it will be theoretically incorrect!!!

Our times of prayer and intercession are times of partnership with the Holy Spirit. Its a time when together we can communicate with our creator. He's not a dance judge, He doesn't condemn us if with pray clumsily. He only cares that we communicate with Him to show our love, our concern, our fears etc.

Dancing alone or dancing with a crowd, prayer is a time for us to express ourselves. We won't crash and destroy the evening for we are dancing with the perfect partner, the Holy Spirit. If we allow Him to guide us and to help us, our times together will become ever more beautiful.

Life Changing Power

God's at work in His people!

At present we are seeing lives changed, and people overcoming so much in their lives.

Yesterday we sang Amazing Grace, a powerful song of declaration. The final verse has always talked to me of our time in heaven when we get to spend eternity praising God, but yesterday God spoke to me that we are already in the time of praise.

When we've been there ten thousand years

Bright shining as the sun

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than when we first begun.

God wanted me to know that

These are your days of praise

These are the days to declare my faithfulness

These are the days to shout for joy.

Don't look to your circumstances.

Don't look at your fears.

Look to me and declare your praise!

Look to me and declare my faithfulness!

For these are your days of praise.

If we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, if we keep our lives Spirit filled, we will see victory in our circumstances.

What is man?

Before Christmas, Ian and I were shopping for presents and we were looking at calenders. We found one of those daily pad calenders that has a beautiful image and a bible verse and we keep it beside the computer.

We're going through a bit of a difficult time with the kids right now and this morning I've just come upstairs and torn off yesterday's verse to find these verses from Psalm 8:

3 When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?

God does care. Not only for me, but also for my children. Our lives are held firmly in His hand and he will see us through this difficult time.

I have a God in whom I trust. A God who is faithful and loving and who I know will provide and care for me.

What is man that He is mindful of him? He is God's creation!

Genesis 1:31 reminds us:

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

and that includes me! He cares for me because He is pleased with the way he created me. That is why he cares for me.

Anointed

On Sunday David Lyon spoke powerfully about the anointing of the Holy Spirit. It's left me with much to think about and much to do. God has made us His people for a purpose and that is to do His will. He hasn't left us to work unprepared but He has fully equipped us to do all the things He has ordered for our lives.

The thing that struck me the most was that he has anointed me to do His will. I am set apart for Him and this anointing of His Spirit has given me the same power that Jesus had when he was on earth.

21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ.
He anointed us,
22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

I used to think that when Jesus spoke of us doing more amazing things than he did when on earth, that meant we would have Godly power. In a sense it does, but when Jesus walked the earth he walked it as a man with all the limitations that entailed. He possessed no super powers other than those given to Him by the power of the Holy Spirit abiding in Him. It's this same Spirit that abides in us and when we live our lives accordingly we can do the same as Jesus. Not in our own strength, but the same way as Jesus did, by allowing the Holy Spirit to flow from within us.

Doubt and Self Worth

One of the main reasons I haven't been blogging as much has been the state of my mind over the past few months.

I've been suffering from a grave lack of self worth and this has led me to feel that my thoughts are worthless and therefore not worth posting.

Thankfully, God has me in his hand. His loving kindness is at work and even if I think what I write is waffle, they are my thoughts. I don't need to worry about what others think of my thoughts. If someone disagrees with my words, they are free to respond. If I make a mistake, I am happy to be corrected (But be kind please). If I encourage or excite by what I write, I would love to know as that in turn excites and encourages me.

If my thoughts invoke no response from the reader, then I hope I will continue to blog because for me, the act of putting my thoughts down has been a positive act. By failing to blog, I am only increasing my feelings of failure and worthlessness.

So if you find I have not blogged for a few days, please add a comment to encourage me.

Life is not easy for anyone. We all need encouragement and I pray that at times, my blog will be an encouragement to those who read it.

God's Spirit is at work in this land and I am so glad to be a part of His plan!

New Job Description

Today I have been repeatedly introduced as "Sue, our new part-time, temporary receptionist". Everyone was really pleased! The role has been filled by staff and students on a rota basis for a long time and they were all pleased to know that for 3 days a week they will be relieved of the task.

I'm looking forward to being out of the house and meeting new people. I'm looking forward to being with like minded people. I'm looking forward to being where God has placed me, even if only for a short while. I'm looking forward to doing a job where I am appreciated.

It may only be part time, it may only be temporary but the job I'm doing is a vital part of any company and although a lot of admin staff view reception work as menial, it's important and it's always been one I love doing. Often for no other reason than it is a job who's most important task is to smile.

Phrophecy or predicting the future?

Rob has returned from France 3 months early. I knew he would be home before the end of his expected time of April but this is because I know my son and I didn't really expect him to last 5 months.

This wasn't a prophetic knowledge, it was just a prediction. I can't see into the future.

Some people are debating the possible sainthood of Judas Iscariot saying it wasn't his fault he betrayed Jesus because there were several prophesies and Jesus himself said that one of the 12 would betray him.

We need to remember that God is outside of time. He existed before time and will exist after time. Our days, years and months are not boundaries for God. Jesus knew Judas would betray him because he had seen in happen. He wasn't making a prediction about something, he was stating a fact of something he had witnessed.

When God gives a prophetic word we need to hold on to the truth of the statement because it will happen, God has already witnessed it. This should give us a security and strength as we go about our lives.

God will fulfill his promises to us. He is unable to lie.

Awesome Night!

Awesome God!

Our cell group met last night and although only about half of us were present God didn't stay away!

The main cry of our local church at the moment is about moving and living in the power of the Holy Spirit. Last night was to be a night where we exercised.

Individually, we were asked to say which of the gifts we felt most comfortable in using and then to say which gift we felt we wanted to move in. Everyone else seemed to know where they were and where they wanted to go.

I felt alone.

I speak and sing in tongues but don't feel that these are my giftings for the building up of the church, more that they are the gifts which are for my personal uplifting and strengthening. This is not to say that I don't believe there will be times when God will use me to bring a tongue.

Everyone was very encouraging and spoke of words I had brought in the past to the group, or in Sunday meetings, which they believed where from God. The odd thing is, I thought these were just words of testimony, yet others felt there was a prophetic nature to them. I had never seen them like this and it was very encouraging.

It was good to see that we all were seeking more of God's power in our lives, not for our benefit but for the benefit of others. For some, it was for power to build the church where God has placed us, for others it was for power to impact the lives of those yet to know God. None of us were seeking power for ourselves or for our own personal glorification.

Moving in God's power, using his gifts, is not so that we as individuals can say "hey look at my super gift! See how powerful I am!" God's powerful gifts are for us to use for the benefit of others.

We each need to be seeking God's specific gift for our lives, whilst not ignoring the need for each of the other gifts to be displayed when the Spirit prompts.

This is an exciting time we are moving in. Don't let yourself be left behind!

The perfect job?

Whilst looking around a web site today I saw a position vacant for my perfect job. The problem? Well it isn't lack of qualifications or lack of experience, I have both of those. It's unpaid!

Time to seek God!

Who Am I?

I'm one of those people who's very negative about myself, very unsure about my skills and very low in self esteem.

When I started this blog it was with the intention of it helping me to become more positive and in some ways I do feel a lot more positive. Yet I know I have a lot more to learn. When I look at myself I see someone who has very little joy for living and I know this is not as it should be.

I feel challenged at the moment to really seek who I am. To find out what it means to be a child of God.

I can rattle off a load of phrases about being a royal priesthood, holy, pure in God's eyes, set free from condemnation, full of the Spirit etc. Yet I believe I need to get to grips with what this really means in my every day practical existance.

Over the coming weeks and months I want to try to formally put down in words a study which will guide me into discovering what it really means to be a child of God.

This year we bought a desk calendar which gives bible verse for each day. Today's comes from Joshua 24:15

But as for me and my household,

we will serve the Lord

This seems as good a place as any to start. I am a servant of the Lord. Now in a practical, everyday sense, what does this mean?

Any suggestions?

The old has gone

I lost the last 2 days of last year. I spent them in bed with a migraine! So we missed the party, the fireworks and everything else that goes with seeing in the New Year.

Thankfully, this morning my head is almost normal and I can walk around the house again.

The past year has seen big changes for me. I'm expecting more changes this year as I seek God's will for our lives.

I've now handed in my notice and feel lost as I haven't a clue which direction I should be looking for new work. But I know that I am not alone. I may not know where I am going this year, but God does and I know he is in control. I feel a bit like someone who is walking with an experienced hiker over mountainous terrain. I know I need to get to somewhere, I don't know where somewhere is, or how to get there but I have absolute faith that the leader does. As long as I follow them and don't stray I will arrive safely at the destination.

To me, New Year's Day is nothing special, it's just another day. But at the same time, every day is a special day to seek God's will and begin a new phase of work for Him.