A Quiet Christmas here..

We enjoyed a quiet family Christmas, missing Rob. Whilst he enjoyed a far different day in the French Alps!

During the morning, he dressed up as Santa and took a ski lift up the mountain. He then donned his sack and strapped himself onto his snowboard to set off down the mountain with goodies for the children in the chalet. Much to the concern of other children on the nursery slope - Santa fell over!!!! He hurt his coccyx heehee but, with a "HoHoHo" he got up and set off back down the main slope to the chalet. He had just arrived back and sat down surrounded by the children, when his mobile went off! So he joked it was Mrs Claus checking he had arrived safely. He loved the experience!

Sadly the day did not end so well! He ran out of gas during Christmas dinner and spent hours running up and down stairs to another kitchen to try to cook the meal. He was disappointed as it meant he spent less time on presentation than he would usually and so felt he had let the guests down.

I'm looking forward to getting some pics of him as Santa. I'll make sure I post one on here for posterity!

As for me? My worst present was THUD, by Terry Pratchett! It's made me almost a recluse whilst I read it! If I read it in the company of others I keep laughing and sadly if Iread back what has just amused me, it doesn't seem as funny to the listener. So I have to cope with being given strange looks, or becoming a hermit until I've finished the book. I truly love the writings of this author!

It may be Christmas but life goes on..

This week I've put in place the next step of my life. On Monday I went into school and handed in my notice. It's been a strange few weeks seeking God's will for our lives. It has been a joint decision with Ian and myself seeking what God wants for our lives. My cessation of teaching does not just affect me but the whole family.

The strange thing is that last night I realised just how much we live in this world, but not of it! Ordinarily people do not leave a job when they have no idea of where or what they are going to do next. Ian and I have considered the financial implications of my not having a job and although we recognise that my salary is vital to our living, we are not concerned about it's loss. We believe that God is in control of this situation and, if anything, we are excited about what he is bringing us into.

David spoke at the carol service last night about the season we are in. Ian and I firmly felt we are at the start of Spring. The old is dying off and under the ground new shoots are coming up. As yet they are not visible, but we have a hope, a firm belief, that they will come through. Soon the reality of new things emerging will be all around us. God has great things planned for our family. This time last year I was single with a new Christian as a partner and no thoughts of getting married. Within 3 months I was married and the strength and security I have received from God's union is awesome.

Now God's plan is moving on. It's an exciting time.

Almost Christmas

Tomorrow is Christmas Day.

It will be a little strange knowing that Rob is not with us, but cooking a fantastic Christmas dinner for 14 strangers somewhere in the French Alps. He's having an amazing time over there! He started ski-ing and snow-boarding about 10 days ago and gets a couple of hours in each afternoon. On Christmas Day he gets to dress up as Santa, throw a sack of presents over his back and ski across to the chalet. it seems strange that Rob's doing this seeing as he's the least experienced skier of the staff! We have visions of him ski-ing right past the chalet, not being able to stop, or else crashing into the french windows at the front. Whichever it is, I'm sure everyone will enjoy his arrival!

Back home, we are looking forward to a quiet weekend. We completed all our Christmas shopping on Thursday and have just relaxed since then. The house looks lovely! I'm so pleased with the new carpets and the completed decor. I was more adventurous with my Christmas decorations this year as I had been donated a lot of mum's things when she moved to Spain. It's strange how she considers me to be more creative, yet in this area I tend more to the understatement. Having mum's beautiful welsh dresser in the dining room, I simply remembered how she dressed it and hopefully followed suit. The dining room is now one of the warmest rooms in the house and I'm really looking forward to eating my turkey dinner there.

I wish all my blog readers, both regular and infrequent, a Very Happy Christmas. May you enjoy and relax at this special time and above all, celebrate the greatest gift ever given!

Living with past failures

Over the past couple of weeks I've been tackling the issue of whether I need to change my career. I now stand in the knowledge that it is time to move on. Satan has had a field day! He's been whispering in my ear about failure! This is something else I've failed at, something else that I just don't have the bottle to see through!

This morning I went to church knowing that both my peace and joy have been stolen from me! I've been living in the knowledge of who God is, but not accepting what it means to my life.

Roger Aubrey was speaking and very powerfully spoke into many areas of people's lives. For me, it was the word that nothing will seperate me from God, not my present nor my future. He pointed out that the past is not mentioned in Romans 8: 37 as it has already been dealt with. The past has no hold on my life, it cannot dictate how my future will be or even how my present will be.

As a Christian, my sins have been forgiven, the old life no longer has a hold on my present or future. My past mistakes are just that past! They have gone and are no longer to have a hold on my life.

My peace has been restored and now I need to rediscover the joy of being in Christ and being filled with his Holy Spirit. I've felt so low recently as I've gone through this time of searching. This is not how God wants me to seek his will and direction in my life! He wants me to know his joy at all times in my life for what he has done for me and to rest in the security that his plans are for my prosperity and not harm, plans to give me a hope and a future.

I'm getting excited now about what God has in store for me. When chatting to Roger after the meeting he said something about us never knowing in January what December will bring. I recalled that in January I was a single woman with no idea that on March 26th I would be getting married! If such a major change can happen in 3 months of this year, what amazing things has God got in store for me over the next few months??

All I know is, I want to be where God wants me to be! If that means stepping out and facing major changes in my life then I'm prepared to do it. It's a small step compared with the steps Jesus took to bring me into a place where my life is held secure in the loving hands of an all powerful and all mighty God!

Plans and Promises

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I've been fretting and worrying about something big recently. Whether or not I'm in the right job, whether or not I'm even in the right career. The part answer appears to be no but whether it's to the first or the latter I'm not sure. I've been putting off making my decision (and to a certain degree still am) because I'm concerned about the pressures I'll put my colleagues under, and about what they will think about me if I quit. I was reminded last night that I need to be concerned about only one person - God.

My decision to stay or to go must be based purely on whether it is God's will that I remain. My decision about when I go should also be based purely on God's will for my life.

My desire is to do the will of God, sometimes it can be so difficult to know exactly what that is.

Be Still and Know

I'm trying to study for an Open University course. I have to admit that it isn't going too well. I'm not a single player, I don't work well when I get stuck. My first thought is to quit. I'm someone who needs others around me to get my little grey cells working.

The course is all about how our minds solve geometrical problems, what strategies we use. Now as someone who quits when the going gets tough, this is a bit of a dilemma for me! The interesting thing is that whilst doing the last 2 tasks I have given up each time, then when I just lie back and try to sleep, my mind solves the problems. The truth of the problem comes to me and I'm able to work my way around to the solution.

Sadly, this is not a pedagogic strategy and I don't suppose I can use it as my method for solving these problems! I need to continue to look for the correct learning terms for my assignment.

I do however believe this is a God given strategy!

Psalm 46:10 says:

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

God knows there are many times in our lives when it just gets too much for us. He wants to help us to overcome our problems and he's given us the key - Be still and know that I am God. When we sit back and rest in his presence, the worries of the world pale into insignificance. They don't disappear, they are just put into perspective.

Learning to be still in God's presence is something I particularly need at the moment, but it's something I believe we all need to practice everyday.

Arrived!

Yesterday Rob arrived at the main resort where he'll be staying for one week's training. Then he spends a further week at the smaller resort where he'll be for the remainder of the 5 months. I haven't had much feedback yet, apart from a few daft texts and the knowledge that French soup and bread are the way forward!

At least he sounds happy and his nerves seem to be settling! This is such an amazing opportunity to experience so many new things! I just wish I could be a fly on the wall to see how he reacts! :-)

Zeal for my House

I've found recently that I'm struggling at work with the way children speak to each other and to their elders. There appears to be nothing but hatred and malice in their lives.

I get so angry inside for the way they are and I want to challenge them and change them. But what right do I have? Am I perfect myself? No way! Not by a long way am I any better.

Yes, I do love my God, I do sing praises and worship the God of all creation. But is it having an outward effect on my life? Am I any better than the people I see around me? I don't think so. I'm critical and often condemning. I pass judgement and want punishment for those who misbehave.

Yet one day, I (with everyone else who has ever lived) will face the judgement seat. Being a christian will not save me from judgement! I will be judged according to how I have lived my life in the knowledge that Christ is King over all, in the knowledge that God is an awesome, mighty and holy God! Am I living as though my judgement will come? Is my life an example to others of how to live or am I just judging them? If I really want to change them, I need to follow the example of Jesus and just live my life as an example of how to live in obedience to God. Listening and obeying his word for my life.

GONE

Well, I'm home after spending most of the day driving! The weather was good, Thank God! The only problems were on the way home when there were apparently several accidents on the M1 just after we needed to exit the M25, so we took a detour and came home via the A5. Boy, what brilliantly straight roads those Romans built! It took an hour longer to get home, but that included a good 30 min break for food and it was only an extra 10 miles. Well worth the detour if it meant avoiding several tail-backs in the early evening!

I'm now waiting for Rob to text me to let me know if he's been allowed into France. I, erm, washed his passport this morning! It's ok, just a bit worn and tatty, but still legible. I'm justn ot sure if they'll class it as "tampered".

Prayers for a passport?? lol

Night night.. I'm shattered and my eyes are worn out! heehee

(but thank God we've had a good day for driving!)

Whilst reading John 2 this morning there was a footnote which took me to the verse in Psalm 69 where it says "zeal for your house will consume me."

I turned to Psalm 69 and so easily managed to see myself in the lines of this psalm. I'm going to admit to the fact I'm struggling at the moment.

14 Rescue me from the mire,

do not let me sink;

deliver me from those who hate me,

from the deep waters.

15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me

or the depths swallow me up

or the pit close its mouth over me.

This is how I feel at the moment! Yet I will praise my God! Life may be tough, but God is all I need!

29 I am in pain and distress;

may your salvation,

O God, protect me.

30 I will praise God's name in song

and glorify him with thanksgiving.

I am finding that through all that is trying to drag me into the miry depths, nothing is stopping my soul from singing praises to my God! Even when I wake in the night, my soul is not crying in self-pity but is singing praises to my loving Father and my Saviour King!

God is worthy of praise, even when life is tough. Without God, I am nothing. With God, I have all I need to live according to his will. I love an awesome, creative but amazingly loving and caring Father God!

Thank you!!! You are my everything!

Going..

Tomorrow, Rob (my eldest son aged 18) sets off for the French Alps for 5 months. It's going to be a totally new experience for him and over the past month, since he got the job, he's been really excited. Yesterday he became quieter. The nerves are beginning to kick in. All the worries and doubts are beginning to surface.

I'm really excited for him! It's a new challenge in his life. A time to learn new skills, meet loads of new people, gain some independance.

He's going to be working as a chalet chef, catering for around 14 guests. He'll be responsible for breakfast and evening meals, even having to shop for the produce. Although there is a menu of what to cook, it's up to him to present it well and produce the food to a high standard. Rob, in the kitchen, is a marvel! It's a natural talent he possesses. Sadly in the past he has failed in his jobs because he gets incredibly nervous when people are standing around watching him. He's convinced they are passing judgement! Now he'll be working independantly he will be able to do what he does best - cook and present food which delights the eye first and then the palette!

Tomorrow I'm driving him down to Dover, so I need prayer for good weather! Rob needs prayer too, he's a very long way from God but I really believe these few months will bring him into contact with other Christians. I pray that they will hear God speak and chat openly to Rob about their faith. This is going to be a time of blessing for him!

All his family will miss him, but knowing he is in God's care gives me peace!

Immediately!

Having completed 1 Peter, Jacqueline has agreed to work through John's gospel for our next study. It's a big book, but as usual we will take it in small chunks.

Last night and this morning I've read chapter 1. The thing that hit me is that the 4 disciples who are called all recognised Jesus for exactly who he was... the one spoken of in the prophets, the Son of God, the Messiah. All of them, on hearing his words, immediately obeyed his call on their lives and followed him.

Yesterday, we were honoured at church with the return of our senior elder. Having heard the voice of God telling him to take 40 days off work to seek Himself, David obeyed and has been away from work getting closer to God, listening and obeying. David's message yesterday (at least the one I heard) was about getting intimate with God. We need to be listening to him, hearing his words and obeying them.

The most striking message I got was that we are to live our lives remembering that we are living it with an audience of One. I wrote the phrase down at least 4 times throughout my notes because I considered it to be so important.

Chatting to my son on the journey home, it had obviously hit home to him too. He is so easily led into mischief, if someone tells him to do something, he does it! He's so often in trouble at school for his silly behaviour. He said, next time someone tells him to do something he'll think "Who is watching? Who is the only audience I need to care about?" The Audience of One!

We need to get close to God, to sit and listen, to hear his voice. We need to be obedient to whatever his call is on our lives, either long term, or just for that moment in time. We need to live our lives remembering that there is only one person in the audience!

To the four disciples who heard and obeyed the call of Jesus, from that day forth, there was only One person who mattered to them. They lived for Jesus, some of them later died for Jesus, but to them, there was only one thing they had to consider whenever they made a decision - is this what Jesus has asked me to do?

Hearing?

Obeying?

Living for an Audience of One?

YES!!!

Let us lead a HOLY life!

It's been a long time

I've not been feeling too hot the past few days... I guess it shows by the lack of blogging.

Anyway, the great thing is... no matter how bad I feel, God's love for me never cools.

One of the best things about being married is that I now have someone to talk to when I feel low. Someone who will encourage me and stand by me. Now I know I always have God, (even hubby has to go to work and isn't around ALL day!) but somehow, it's more difficult to avoid talking to Ian, or answering his questions.

I don't want to turn a deaf ear to God, but it can be so easy sometimes. Now don't get me wrong, I havent been walking away from him, I just havent been making the effort to give him quality time. I still wake in the night singing his praise. I still love him more than anything else. I've just been too wrapped up in my worries to walk close beside him.

Worship this morning put that right. The opportunity to hand everything over to him. In the past I've said "here Lord, take it all" without actually being specific. This morning I was specific. I named several worries, handing each one individually over to him and receiving the peace which comes from knowing that Father is taking control. This doesn't mean life will become suddenly far less troublesome, just that by placing these things in his hands I have the ability to overcome.

I just cannot get over the fact that I worship an awesome creator God who loves me so much that he sent his Son to die for me. I cannot get over the fact that Jesus loves his Father so much that he lived only to obey him. That Jesus loves me so much that he was willing to live here on earth to give me a demonstration of how to live. I cannot get over the fact that the Holy Spirit is my personal survival kit! He is everything I need to cope with this life. My power and strength, my guide and counsellor, my friend and comforter.

I stand in awe of a mighty God who created me.

I cannot help but praise him, I cannot help but love him!

My Creator

Psalm 8 says:

When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and crowned him with glory and honor.
You made him ruler over the works of your hands;

you put everything under his feet:

As I look back over the past year... (I know, I'm a bit premature for the old year reflections) I can see very clearly the path of revelation that God has led me through.

I started the year learning about God's awesomeness. His amazing power, holiness, creativity and love. This led me to look at Jesus and the example he gave me on how to live obedient to God's law. It also reiterated God's incredible love for us that he would sacrifice his only Son to allow me into a relationship with himself. A relationship which is far closer than most of the old Testament guys ever knew! Later, I gained insight into the character and gift of the Holy Spirit. Another example of God's love for us! By giving us his Spirit, we have more power, more awareness, more understanding, more ability to live the way God has created us to live.

The learning has almost taken me back to where I began. Being more aware and familiar with the three persons of the God head, I once again stand in awe of a God who created the heavens, yet who wants me!

Sing a New Song

or write a new psalm...

Wherever I go, whatever I do

My lips will proclaim your name!

When I wake in the night

Your name is on my lips.

My soul sings praises to you whilst I sleep.

When I wake your praises are on my lips.

Lord you are great!

I cannot help but proclaim your awesome love for the world.

I love you, I worship you, for you have created me.

I love you, I worship you, for you have redeemed me.

I love you, I worship you, just because of who you are.

Proverbs

I've got some bullies in my form. I'm sure all classes have bullies, but it's my job to try to encourage the bullying to stop in my own form.

Yesterday I looked through Proverbs and found a useful verse.

Proverbs 11:17

When you're kind to others, you help yourself;
when you're cruel to others, you hurt yourself.

I asked several members of the class if they were ever bullied. The pleasant students replied they were not bullied. The not so pleasant students replied that they got bullied. The students who are kind receive a pleasanter life at school. Other students don't "get their own back" as there is nothing to get back at.

The students who are nasty, pick on their peers, name call, hit or pick fights all find that the same kind of thing happens to them.

It proved a point.

If you're kind to others, life is pleasanter! If you're nasty to others, they will be nasty in return!

Let's be kind. After all, who wants to be picked on?

I'm a sinner

That's something I confessed when I became a christian. It's something I admit to now and again. But in the small hours of the morning, it really hit me how in just one aspect of my life I sin big time!

I've got a large form of 29 kids. Most are ok kids. One is small, uses puppy-dog eyes to look at me. He's quiet in form and in maths and also hard-working. Yet this child I see is not the child others see! In most other lessons he is silly, misbehaving and a nuisance! He often back-chats the teachers and over the last 2 days has had fights three times with other members of the form during a lesson. He has also been reported by prefects for spitting at them and swearing at them when he got told to stop! I had a chat to him yesterday because I want to get to the bottom of why he acts like this. To me, he's a nice kid. I want to help mold his character.

I have another boy in my form. He lies, he stabs girls with pins, he is incapable of speaking the truth to anyone. He has previously accused a teacher of sexual harassment. We have been warned never to be alone with him. I confess that when he's around, my flesh crawls.

In the middle of the night, I was lying awake. I decided to pray for the first boy. I'm concerned for him. I asked the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and guidance. I added "give me wisdom to deal with the others too". Hasty words! God's Holy Spirit inside me told me to love them!

Ok, I love them. No I don't!!! Most of my form I just have ok feelings towards. A couple, like lad number 2, I really can't be bothered with! The first, I really want to help!

God's word tells me I need to love everyone as God loves them. When I fail to do God's will, I don't just fail to do his will. I sin!

Everytime I don't show God's love to another human being, I'm not being disobedient, I'm sinning!

I have never before realised the immensity of just failing on this one thing.

When I wake up in the morning...

I think of you.

I may not be the best at reading my bible every day. I may not be the best at praying. But these days, put me with a crowd of worshippers and I'm lost. Lost in wonder, lost in awe. I cannot help but praise the Holy God who created this world.

I wake in the morning and I'm singing his praises. The busyness of the day envelops me and my singing gets lost amongst the thoughts and pace of what's going on around me. But in reality, it isn't really lost, it's just drowned out by the noise. When I quickly still my mind, the songs are still there.

On Sunday, a problem at home almost caused me to miss getting to church. As the time approached for us to need to leave, my heart was crying out in pain at the thought of not being amongst God's people worshipping him. I was struck by the strength of my emotions. I really wanted to be there! I desired more than anything else to be with God's people worshipping him! As it was, we made it, only a couple of minutes late. The meeting ran to a different format but the worship was amazing. I needed no warming up, I just walked straight in, raised my arms and let my soul sing to my redeemer, my creator, my comforter.

I just want to praise God every minute of every day. I need to learn the skill of not allowing that voice of praise to be drowned out whilst I go about my every day life. My soul's song needs to be heard (by me) through everything I do. Then others will see God's glory through the life I lead.

It's been so long

I've not written on here for a while. For the past few weeks I've been letting life get on top of me and I've not felt as though I want to share my thoughts. Yet if I'm honest, my thoughts aren't bad, they just don't seem to be inspiring.

When I began my blog, I didn't intend it to be a source of inspiration for others. My intention was just to put down in words how I felt about my life and the things that affected my life. If I'm finding life tough, I can write it down. If I'm finding life amazing, I can write it down.

So I'm going to try to return to writing down my daily thoughts. Forgive me if they bore you but hopefully there will be times when you find my thoughts useful or inspirational. Whatever effect they have when you read them, please feel free to pass a comment. Argue, agree, laugh or cry, but feel free to join in when the urge takes you!

Too busy?

Since our return from Spain, it just seems to have been one thing after another with little time to take breath!

Laura applied for a job and was interviewed whilst we were away. She made such an excellent impression that she has been offered a higher position than the one she applied for! For some time now she's been suffering from low self-esteem, but this has really boosted her again!

Rob was also busy applying for jobs and decided to escape the country! He applied for a few jobs as a chef in ski resort chalets and this morning has received an offer of a job! In just a couple of weeks he will be travelling to the French Alps for 5 months! it will be strange not having him around again!

As for me? Well it's back to school, lessons, planning, a parent's evening for our new year 7s tonight, courses, studying and life!

Escape the the country!

Here we are, Ian and I, back in Spain for the half term break. After a very early start this morning, all we've been fit for on arrival is eating and sleeping! Mum reminded me earlier that I came over about 4 years ago during the October half-term and it rained for 6 out fo the 7 days! Such rain as Spain hadn not seen for many years! Locals hired taxis to take them to the nearest large town and they stood along the river bank with cameras taking photographs of the water levels!

On arrival the sun was shining today. I'm grateful I've got the break from school to recharge my batteries, I'm just hoping I don't spend my time recharging them by sleeping all day and all night!.

This really is a beautiful country and I love coming here to unwind and relax...

It is well

I'm finding my job pretty tough at the moment. I've got to the stage where I wonder why I bother. It all seems so pointless, attmepting to teach when I'm being constantly harrassed by groups of 20 - 30 teenagers who just don't want to be there. When I say harrassed, I mean harrassed. I often get pointed personal comments made and I'm finding it tough not to react. Yesterday I snapped! One group of year 11s got the full force of my wrath!

So why do I do my job? Because there is nothing more satisfying than watching someone learn! Sadly those moments appear few and far between!

This morning I've woken up feeling low, yet inside I'm singing... the annoying thing is I can't remember any more than one line!

"It is well, it is well in my soul."

Do I need to sing any more? It is well in my soul! My soul sings to a creator God. My soul can sing in his presence. Singing praises will lift my spirit. God's spirit will bring to my soul the words I need to encourage myself.

So if today all I sing is " It is well in my soul" then that's all I'll sing. For my soul is well! I am a new creation! I am a royal priesthood. Everyday life may be pressing in, but God's kingdom is here with me when I do his will. When I praise him, I do his will!

These are words of encouragement and affirmation of who I am. So to those who want to knock me down, to those who want to see me break, just hear this...

It is well in my soul!

Royal Priesthood

I'm still slowly working my way through 1 Peter. Partly because there are days when I just don't read it and also partly because I'm just reading such small parts at a time.

Yesterday, Tony Ling was talking about the restoration of God's church. We may not be seeing it here in the UK, but God's church is worldwide and it is growing. God's church is being restored. What we need to be doing is making sure that we are not left behind.

1 Peter 2 4 - 12 talks about us being built together. We are the living stones that are being put in place as God's temple. We are his priesthood, his nation. His sacrifice.

The Jews had different types of sacrifice. We are not the sin sacrifice. That sacrifice has been totally paid through the death of Jesus. He paid the final price for every sin, both past, present and future.

We are the sacrifice of praise. Everything we do is to be a sacrifice of praise that raises glory to God. Our lives should be such that when non-believers look at us, they see the glory of God.

It's hard to make everything we do a pure sacrifice of praise. We so often mess up. But God knows our weaknesses. He knows our human-ness. That's why he hasn't left us on our own. He's given us, not only the gift of a new life, but also the gift of his Holy Spirit that we may have the strength to do God's will. His Holy Spirit within us guides us, speaks to us, counsels us, empowers us.

I've gone through the year getting to know the Trinity but the Holy Spirit seems to be the one who is most difficult to bring into my everyday life. Yet the Holy Spirit is the one who dwells in me.

If I am to be the person God wants me to be, if I am to fulfill his will, I need to daily acknowledge the person of the Holy Spirit and allow him to be my guide and strength for each day, for each action, for each second of my life.

Get to know the Holy Spirit in your life, get filled each day that you may live God's way that the glory of God may fill the place where you are as the life you lead is a sacrifice of praise to the most holy God. Worship the Lamb of God, worship Jesus by the way you live. Let your life be a sacrifice of praise in every moment you live.

It's a tough call, but with God's spirit in us, it isn't impossible!

Awesome Praise

This morning I awoke still feeling lousy with my cold. In fact, during the night it appeared that the cold had moved down to my chest and I was developing a cough. Now, seeing as I suffer mildly from asthma, this is generally not a good time. I felt that I would need at least one more day off school. I'd need the time to renew the strength so that i can carry out the physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting job of teaching kids aged 11 - 16.

Nothing was going to keep me from going to church though.

We had good worship, we had a good talk by Tony Ling. At the end Tony went very quiet. I was getting a bit worried. He kept repeating "praise and worship, praise and worship". So that's what we did. We entered into a further time of praise and worship, this time, instead of it being led from the front, we were exhorted to just worship God individually. At first the time was a bit strained. We're so unused to worshipping in public without it being led. yet slowly we awoke to the task. For much of the time I just sat and watched the people. My son had brought a non-Christian friend and I wondered what he thought. Then I watched the faces of the worshippers. As the time of worship grew, so their faces changed. You could see them enter God's presence. The initial fears and worries of being led to worship this way was fading as people entered their own place of worship. As I watched, my spirit was stirred. As my spirit was stirred I felt my strength restored. As my strength was restored I was lifted into that awesome place of God's throne room.

This evening, after a restful, but not lazy afternoon, I am feeling as though I just have a few snuffles. I know my strength is renewed. I know I will be in school tomorrow, to serve my God in the place he has put me to impact the lives of those I come into contact with.

Oh, and Matt's friend? Well he was pretty spooked out (his words) by the worship. The woman behind who was singing in some foreign language... the people with their eyes closed and their hands raised... He told Matt that he won't be able to come next week. Then he added, "but I should be able to come the week after"!

God's at work! He's restoring his tent!

Cold

Why is it that a simple cold can wipe a person out? For the past couple of days I've had a head cold. Yesterday I awoke with no voice, so I stayed at home. It's pretty difficult to teach without a good voice. It's impossible to teach without a brain! Yesterday, that's how I felt. My head was just a fuzzy mess. Everyone time I tried to communicate, it wasn't the lack of a voice giving me problems but the lack of coherant thoughts!

I'm feeling slightly better this morning, at least my voice has almost returned to normal. I'm hoping my brain will function better too!

For the record - God is great! Not because I've got a cold, but because he's my God and I love to worship him!

Donald Miller in his book "Searching for God know's what" talks about communion. And he said he thought the disciples would be a little perplexed to see us sitting around or lining up to take communion and everything being so quiet and somber. He said he thought the disciples would have a huge cup of wine, and a loaf of bread and sit around and tell Jesus stories.

I thought about that for weeks. We do a once a month service called Encounter and we always take communion and like you, I am always looking for a way to make it fresh and different. This week we had loaves of bread... a lot of bread... and we had big cups of juice... and we sat around and we ate and we remembered Jesus, and we told our Jesus stories. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated. It was an awesome night.

I've copied this from the evotional site I like to peruse. It's a comment made by another reader after reading the blog from October 9th - Communion Tin.

The first thing that hit me was the thought of how the disciples possibly "remembered Jesus" when they took the bread and wine. Were they probably just sitting around sharing a meal and someone suddenly broke the bread and said "remember when Jesus did this? Remember he told us to remember him?"

Did they just sit back and quietly contemplate his death and the new meaning it had brought to their lives? or did they sit and share stories about the things they'd experienced whilst he was with them?

"Remember that day on the hillside when he'd talked for hours and then we realised how hungry everyone was? Remember he told us to share out that little boy's loaves and fish! Boy how stupid we felt! One crumb or two sir?"

"Remember when he sent us, I mean us!!! fishermen!, to go and heal the sick! Go on , admit it. Did you really think you could? But when we took that first step, Wow!! the impact! Not just on the healed, but on us! When we realised the power he had shared with us! I just thrill every time I think of what he does through me!"

"Remember the time when life felt it had fallen apart? Then we realised that he was in control. That he cared so much for us that he had suffered for us. He wants us to remember him, not because he wants us to be sad but because he wants us to know his intimate love!"

It thrills me to think that Jesus didn't just die for my sins! He died to bring me into a place where I could stand in awe and worship the most holy God. Where everyday of my life I can come into his presence and enjoy being with him.

I just want to celebrate the life I have now because of what Jesus has done for me! I want to remember all the amazing things he has done since I gave my life to him!

Check this out

The other week I did a search on Holy Spirit blogs and I found this site. I'll be adding a link to the site later but this guy alternates from quirky comments on his life to incredibly intense comments about a spirit filled life. He just lives for God and is making incredible use of technology to get into people's lives.

http://www.evotional.com/

Check out Flight Delay Entertainment for quirkiness!

Feeding Time

Yesterday morning, Ian and I were up early to go to a bible study entitled Bible Overview. One of the things that hit me was a more casual comment about eating. God's word is the Bread of Life. It is meant to sustain us and give us the strength to live, yet how often do we starve ourselves and then binge eat? It's so easy to have a busy day and forget to read. Then when something important is approaching, or when we are energised by God, we binge eat for a while.

In 1 Peter 2:2 It says

Like newborn babies , crave pure spiritual milk,

so that you may grow up in your salvation.

A newborn baby generally drinks 6 feeds a day. It will never miss a meal, it will never snack. A baby naturally knows the importance of regular and substantial meals if it is to grow and develop into adulthood.

In the same way, we need to be eating 6 regular meals a day. It would be fantastic if our lives allowed us the time to sit and eat God's word for half an hour 6 times a day, sadly for the majority of us that is impossible. In my busy day at school, there are sometimes days when I get less than 20 minutes to sit and eat my lunch, and many others of us have similar hectic lives.

But in our busy days, we can still feed on God. We can listen to songs of praise and worship as we work, or as we drive to work. We can dot words of life around us that our eyes may rest on them as we go about our lives. We can chat to God at any time, even whilst walking around a class full of demanding children.

If we retire to bed at the end of the day and realise we haven't touched base once with our creative God, we are starving ourselves and missing out on our chance to grow. Sometimes we only find the time to snack but surely we should be making much more effort to grab a good hearty meal.

Sit down and devour God's word. Enjoy the pleasures of good eating!

Hectic week

This week we're having lots of little jobs done on the house. It's exciting, every day I come home from work and look to see what's been done. You know all those annoying little jobs that you never really get around to? The ones you put off because you know that although they're simple tasks, they're simple to someone who is experienced and knows what they're doing.

Two weeks ago the shower heating element died! So we've had baths every day since then. Now don't get me wrong, I like nothing better than a leisurely soak in the bath now and again. But these days I really don't have the time to run a bath in the morning, let alone soak in one! Today the shower man comes to fit a new shower! (As well as the handyman continuing with his jobs!)

Change is good, renewing is exciting!

At work, school is busy. We had our annual open evening on Tuesday, which meant smiling at prospective parents and pupils until 9 at night. It appeared to go well in our department and we were surprised that we still had parents visiting the maths department at 9.10pm.

Many other things are happening and I feel as though I'm not getting my job done well, or that I've got the energy to keep going! Yet, yesterday someone commented that I was looking far more relaxed and less stressed at school than I had last term. Now last term, due to staffing, I was on a reduced timetable and only teaching 12 lessons a week. This term I'm teaching 21 lessons! The difference? A Holy Spirit difference.

I'm feeling far more prepared to face my days this term. God is doing amazing things and some of it is being done to me! I'm excited by the strength I'm gaining. I'm feeling so much more secure in God, so much more in awe of him, so much more in love with him. So much more hungry for more!

I may not be witnessing openly, but God's power within me is beginning to change the way I work, the way I react around other staff and around the pupils. People are beginning to notice a change! I know I've felt different. It was encouraging to hear that someone else had noticed a difference too.

The Return of the Prodigal!

This week my daughter asked if she could join us at church with a friend tonight. She's made friend's with a christian youth worker and together they came with us to the church my youngest son attends on a Sunday evening.

It's been many years since Laura has attended church and although she sat quietly throughout and didn't participate, she afterwards remarked to another friend that she will be coming again - because she knows she needs to!

God is at work in this house. Laura still has a long way to come, but it's good to see she is beginning to recognise the need for God in her life.

Often we give up on our kids, our friends, or even our spouses and parents. But God is at work. This morning I was reminded that God knows my burdens. He knows the people I have a burden for and that he has a burden for them to. I need to hand them over to God and trust him.

Part of tonight's message was that God has a plan for our lives, we need to be patient and let him see it through! Often we look at the situation and try to hurry things up. If we try to take control, to fulfil God's plan before his time, then things are likely to go wrong. In God's time, things work!

Fully Rely On God! That's what we need to do in every aspect of our life! That's what we need to do with all the people we have a burden for! Rely on God to see them through.

Why?

Some friends of mine are going through a time where their faith could so easily be tested. In fact, a time when many of us around them could start questioning "Why God?"

Through everything that happens to us, God wants us to love him. He will see us through anything and everything that life throws at us. At this time, I know my friends have turned to him for everything they need.

I'm sure most of us are feeling useless at this time, last night I told them that all I could do was pray for them. It made prayer sound such a small thing! Yet prayer is the most powerful and wonderful tool that God has given to us! I don't need to know the details, God knows them! I just need to support my friends, to show my love for them through prayer.

1 Peter 1: 22 says

Now that you have purified yourselves

by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers,

love one another deeply, from the heart.

These people need to know how precious they are to us, how deep our love is for them, how sincere. If ALL we can do is pray, then we can show them love in no greater way than praying! If we don't know what to pray for our friends in need, we pray in tongues letting the Holy Spirit lead our prayers. Our Father in heaven will provide all they need.

I'll go back to verse 13

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled;

set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Chris is revealed.

Our hope is in all that Christ has done for us through his death on the cross. Let us worship God and not question him. Let us be active for him in our support for our friends. Active in prayer.

When God Speaks

When God has something important to say, he usually says it loud and clear and repeatedly! Yesterday he spoke at least 3 times to me about the same thing.

In the morning, I'd shared about preparing my mind for action. At church a couple of hours later, there was an amazing anointing of God's Holy Spirit amongst the people. We were being to called to not only BE anointed in the Holy Spirit to also to be an anointing to others. To be active for God! In the evening we went over to Coventry to a different church and the call was once again to serve, to be active for God.

In some ways there were 3 messages given, but in others I really felt a sense of God calling me to action. To live the life he has chosen, to be a visible example of God's love. I'm not sure how God wants me to serve him, I only know that by preparing my mind each morning, by living in his kingdom, by seeking him in everything I do, I will learn to hear his voice. If I truly want to serve my Saviour King I will obey his will. For the present, I need to just be the person he created me to be. As I learn to live my life in obedience to him, by honouring him in everything I do, then he will begin to show me what he wants me to do.

One thing I do know for sure. I love God more than anything else. His love is the most precious thing I have and I don't want to allow anything in my life to seperate me from the joy of living in his kingdom. I want to serve my King. I need to listen to his voice, to be prepared and to obey.

Prepare Your Mind!

1 peter 1 13 - 16 tell us to prepare our minds and be self-controlled.

Last night I was watching The Bourne Supremecy with my son. He'd seen the first film but I hadn't, so I was a bit lost about some of what was happening. The lead man was acting on instinct. He had been well trained, his mind had been prepared to succeed in the tasks set before him. Sadly, (and I don't know how as it was in the first film) he was suffering from limited amnesia and there was a lot in his past which he was incapable of remembering. This meant that although his mind was prepared, he was often mixed up and confused. He didn't know what or why he was reacting the way he was.

Peter calls on us to prepare our minds. We are still living on earth and unless our minds are fully prepared, we are more likely to react in an earthly way instead of a godly way. We need to keep our minds fixed on the things of heaven. We serve a holy God and we cannot expect to come into his presence unless we ourselves are holy.

Peter calls us to be holy in all we do. Unless we prepare our minds for action by reading God's word, by chatting to him, talking to him, and above all, by listening to him, we will not be prepared for the tasks he sets for us.

Time for a bit of honesty? The past couple of days I've slotted in a quick read of my bible at the end of the day when my eyes are tired. Friday I didn't even make that much time! The days when I get up and the first thing I read is God's word, those are the days I know I am prepared for my day ahead. I've often in the past done my quiet time at the end of the day, but I'm finding I am so much more prepared for life when I read in the morning.

Think about it... how often does a general plan his attack at the end of the battle?

Our times with God are our times of preparation! We need to prepare our minds in order than we can face each day. We need to spend time with God in the morning, not in the evening. Don't get me wrong, added time in the evening is excellent. We must get our minds prepared in the morning. Our final thoughts of the day can be a time of reflection and praise but our early morning time is a time to focus and prepare. Just like Jesus did every morning.

A Disappointing Expectation Realised

This week I'm in the middle of producing an assignment to end my Open University's present course. I've found the course tough going because of the style of presentation in the course text book. Every few comments are interupted by yet another task for me to complete and I have found the flow of the text too severaly interupted to be able to follow the ideas. The assignments have been even more frustrating to complete and I have struggled, not to do the work, but to complete them in the format they have insisted we use.

Next week I begin two more courses. The start of new courses is usually an exciting time. yesterday my course material arrived for the courses but sadly the only difference on one of the courses is that instead of studying algebra, I'll be studying goemetry. I'm greatly disappointed as I know I'm going to have to work harder about being positive about the course, than on the course content.

The course I attended in the summer provided times of reflection on our learning the previous day. One of the things we openly talked about was how the course was giving us, often painful, reminders of what it is like to be a learner.

Looking at my disappointment for the coming months, in a way it must be how many of my pupils feel when I say we're about to study an area of maths they find difficult. Or when I keep badgering them to set work out in a particular way and they want to just jump straight in with an answer.

Having met the authors of these courses in the summer course, I hold them in great respect as people who are not only knowledgeable, but from observing them, also great classroom practitioners. I need to change the way I view the coming months. There will have been great discussion amongst them about not only the course content but also the way it is presented and the best way to enable us as learners to formerly write down our thoughts about our learning.

This is a challenge, not a trial! Although at times it will feel like one. If I go into the coming 12 months with the expectation that I will hate it, I most probably will! Alternatively I can choose to see this experience as more than just a means to an end, but as an opportunity to learn new ways to improve my own skills as a teacher and to extend my learning and understanding of topics which I really enjoy in maths.

Life is full of challenges, it's how we choose to approach those challenges which determines our enjoyment, success and commitment.

Learn to face life's challenges with good expectations and excitement of what is in store. Never predetermine they will be unpleasant and a waste of time. Yes, I'm talking to myself as well!

Testing Faith!

1 Peter 1: 7

These (trials) have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

How often do we say "God is testing my faith!". God will not test us! He will not tempt us! Tempting and testing come from Satan. God is incapable of hurting us, it is not in his nature!

Trials in life are not tests of faith! They help us to see that the faith we have is genuine. If our faith is not genuine, we will fall. If our faith in God is genuine, we will survive! Not because we have a strength of character, but because we have a God who holds us strong. We are kept safe in his hands, secure and loved.

When we come through tough times our hearts are full of praise for the love of our God who has held us safe.

So don't see trials as testing, but as a means to demonstrate to yourself that your love of God is genuine. Think of all the tough times David suffered during his life. So many Psalms begin with frustration and panic as he worries about how he will ever get out of whatever trial he is facing. Yet each psalm ends in praise as David acknowledges the awesome majesty of his Lord. His faith was never tested! His faith proved to him that his love of God was genuine and would always keep him safe.

Let the trials you face be an opportunity for you to be reminded that your love of God is genuine and not just superficial.

A Living Hope

Can you remember a time at school when you were reprimanded for using too many commas and full stops in your work? You then start writing great big long sentances with no commas no breaks you just waffle on and on without any break and the sentance just grows and grows. You feel you're doing a great job that your english is improving! Then later the teacher appears to change her mind. Use them less frequently! You're told not breaking up your work properly! Create sensible sentances!

Life seems to be full of comments which later appear to be contradicted.

As I return to 1 Peter this morning, I come across some amazing comments, all bunched together into one long sentance! I want to break it down into chunks to meditate on but I struggle to find the end of the sentance! Yet when I reach the end of the sentance and glance at the next one... I appear to find a contraction from Peter!

(3) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, (4) and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, (5) who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

(6) In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

Verses 3 -5 speak of a living hope and God's shield of power keeping us safe until Christ's return, yet verse 6 speaks of the grief of many trials we will face!

If we are protected by God's power, why are we facing trials?

We visited relatives on Saturday. As young people they went to church and had a faith in God which held them fast. Sadly, Shirley's brother died. He was struck down by lightening! Along with her brother, Shirley's faith died. How could a God of love allow such a thing to happen? Especially when we are told that lightening (for insurance purposes) is an act of God!

It's often so hard to understand why God allows all the cruel things of this world to take place. I don't profess to know the answers. I try to live through my faith and accept that for me, my hope is in the future. Whatever I face here on earth will not change my future when Christ comes again. I have a living hope that sustains me. I can say these things, I haven't suffered the way so many have suffered. I really don't know how my faith would stand up if I lived in south USA at present or in the many countries where christians are being persecuted and killed for their faith.

In my faith, I will hold on to my living hope, that through the resurrection of Christ, my Lord, I will come into an inheritance that will never spoil or fade! My hope is not for an easy life on earth, but for an eternity to be spent worshipping God!

I cannot imagine how fantastic that will be. All I have is the knowledge that when I worship God, when I come before him in reverance and awe, there is no greater feeling, no greater time in my life. I am glad that I have Christ Jesus, who has sanctified my life, in order than I am able to enter God's presence for eternity to worship him.

time to meditate

How often do we read the opening of a letter and just glance at the welcome?

1 Peter 1-2

Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,

To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia,

who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

To God's elect His chosen people, selected for a purpose! That's me!!!

Strangers in the world we are called to live in God's kingdom, we are no longer part of this world but strangers in it. it seems strange to think that for so many years we have lived on this earth, yet now as citizens of God's kingdom, we are alien on this land. Our kingdom is not the earth but God's kingdom!

who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father God's plan for each of our lives causes us to be chosen, not just to live in his kingdom, but to serve there too.

through the sanctifying work of the Spirit I had to look up a definition of sanctify ( just to check it before I typed here) but it means made holy! we are people who have been made holy by the Holy Spirit!

for obedience to Jesus Christ how can we be anything other than obedient to Christ when the Holy Spirit has made us holy? Often it is so easy to forget God and just get on with life. But if we allow God's Holy Spirit to truly dwell in us, if we make ourselves aware of his amazing presence around us and in us in everything we do, then we will strive to be obedient to Christ through our everyday living.

2 small verses at the start of a short letter yet they are full of amazing truth and encouragement for who we are and how we should be living our lives.

Kingdom living! That's what I want! God's kingdom here on earth!

Gideon and Peter

Ian bought a book about Gideon. The sub-title has made me inquisitive! "Power from Weakness". I'll read the book when Ian has finished, but to start this morning I decided to read the story of Gideon.

The first thing that hit me was those moaning and complaining Israelites! They were once again the victims of superior powers, constantly under attack, losing their land and their harvest and their livestock! They complained to God, "Why have you deserted us? Where are you when we need you?"

Yet they were unable to see the link between God's "desertion" and their own! They were no longer acting like God's people! They were once again worshipping Baal, building alters to other gods, yet expecting the one true God, whom they no longer worshipped, to rescue them when things turned bad.

I didn't study the story, just read it through. I then turned to the New Testament and skimmed through the end of James. Following James are the letters of Peter. Peter, the loud, out-spoken desciple is now writing as a mature man of God.

In 1Peter, Peter talks about living our lives in God's kingdom. 1 Peter 1 - 2 Peter 11 tells us about how we should be living. Not as worshippers of other gods in our busy world, not as citizens of this world, but as citizens of the kingdom of God, worshipping him and him alone.

9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

Peter begins his letter with an amazing declaration. He writes to just about anyone who is a believer with the following opening lines...

1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,

To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia,

2 who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

I feel I should spend quite some time reading and meditating on the truths of this letter.

Expect more thoughts to follow!

You will need your brain in gear to understand this!

For a few days now I've been aware that I'm not reading my bible as much as I used to. It can be a few days between me picking it up, and when I do, I tend to just quickly scan few verses. I've been quietly challenged by the Holy Spirit that I must get into God's word.

So this morning I got up early to read. One of those small voices, we need to learn to ignore, spoke to me challenging me as to the reason I was going to read it was out of guilt and not desire! Thankfully I was able to reason that God doesn't mind WHY we read his word as long as we obey him! Rather than not read because I feel guilty that I'm reading it because I've been neglecting it, I decided I would read it because God has told me to. I would rather be obedient to God than to not do something because I'm only doing it because I've been told to!

Healing Spirit

I dragged myself to cell group last night, exhausted and needing sleep. My head was hurting, I had a numb arm and I really just wanted to be in bed.

We talked about being a citizen of God's kingdom and humility. We prayed for two people who have been suffering long term migraines. I just stood by and prayed quietly in tongues for most of the time.

By the end of the meeting, my numb arm was feeling lots better, my own headache was fading. I fell into bed grateful for the sleep to come.

This morning I awoke to a pain free head and an arm which is not misbehaving! God heals our sickness even when we don't directly ask for healing. His Holy Spirit ministered to me during the time of prayer.

Being amongst God's family allows us to draw on the strength of others. The love and caring of this particular group of people always gives me strength and encouragement and no matter how tired I am, I always make the effort to meet with them. I am blessed with incredibly sensitive leaders. They are sensitive to the nudging of the Holy Spirit allowing them to be aware of when we need support. I know last night I received a quiet reassuring and encouraging word from one of them which lifted yet relaxed me allowing me to benefit from the sleep I needed. This particular person needed rest as much as I did, yet in her humility and love for others she offered me the words I needed to bless me.

I am so fortunate that God has placed me amongst such loyal citizens of heaven. People who lead through example.

I pray today that I may be sensitive to your Spirit and not senseless and selfish, full of the "Poor Old Me" attitude that is so prevalent in today's world.

I am NOT of this world! I am a citizen of heaven! Help me to live according to your will today!

Thank you for the wonderful new world in which I live. Thank you I am a new creation and able to draw on your power as I seek to live my life for you.

On eagle's wings

I'm absolutely shattered! 5 days back at school and all I want to do is sleep!

Yet I not only do a worthwhile job, it's also the most satisfying I have ever done.

Seeing children learn, seeing them achieve makes my spirit soar!

I wonder if it's the same with God. He must have the biggest classroom ever and the Holy Spirit is the most patient teacher. How many times have I been taught the same lesson? How many times am I reprimanded for not following the class rules? How patient is my teacher?

Since Bible week I feel I'm getting to know the Holy Spirit in a totally different way. He's always been the slightly mysterious part of the trinity. I'm now finding I'm talking to him more easily, asking for his help and guidance, for wisdom and comfort.

I worship a God who loves me so much, he sent his son to die in payment for the many things I have done wrong and the many things I am yet to do wrong. But not only does my God forgive my sin, he has also sent a helper to work alongside me. Jesus was the greatest example of how to live life on earth. As Matthew Ling explained on Sunday (yes I made it to church!) Jesus lived on earth as a man not as God. He experienced all the emotions and pains that we experience. Yet through it all, he remained in control because each day he began by drawing on the strength of the Holy Spirit. If Jesus needed to power of the Holy Spirit in his daily life, then how much more do I need him?

At this present time I am physically and mentally tired. Yet I know that if I keep my mind fixed on God then I will have the strength to carry out his plan for my life.

For tonight though, I don't feel my mind is working and this is probably very waffly. So I will close for today and leave myself to ponder on the growing relationship I have with the Holy Spirit and also to accept my need to develop this relationship further if I am to achieve God's will for my life.

I am so angry!

I'm sorry, I just have to get this off my chest!

I have a neighbour who likes to party! No often, but loudly! Last night we had to put up with her entertaining her friends until 2 in the morning, music blasting out, loud singing and lots of shouting. We resorted to sleeping on the sofas downstairs as the party was at the back of the house below our bedroom window.

She believes she has a right to party on a Saturday night, the noise is acceptable because it's a party!

In reality, we can complain to Environmental Health, but they canonly act if they hear the noise! Of course, they dont work at weekends or at night, so partying is a difficult issue. But the essence of the law these days is that it is unreasonable noise if it occurs after 10pm. Her daughters had a party 10 days ago on a Thursday night which went on until 4.20pm when we telephoned the police.

Again, we were unreasonable! For the next few days, people I haven't spoken to before, who live in our street, came up to talk about the noise from the party! We were not the only ones disturbed and I'm sure the same is true of last night.

I just want to sleep now! I've got to go to church, but I can't imagine how on earth I can praise God when I'm still so angry!

What a scary creature!

Today I've spent over 3 hours, shut in a classroom with 29 quivering year 7s.

They sat quietly whilst I talked to them about the school's expectations.

They did everything they were asked to do, first time.

It was bliss after the form I had last year!

On the way down to assembly, I commented to another teacher about how well-behaved and quiet they were. She replied "well you are pretty scary Sue."

Later, whilst chatting to one of my form I discovered he knew plenty of boys already at the school. The names he mentioned are the ones we hear on a daily basis, which generally means for bad reasons! They'd been telling him about me! The comments?

She's scary! BUT she's a nice lady!

I'm chuffed! I guess if the kids think I'm scary but nice, then they must have some respect for me. I have a job to do, which is to not only educate these children to pass exams, but to also prepare them for life.

Rights and responsibilities are extremely important in lessons.

Every child has a right to an education. Every child has a right to expect their lessons to be well planned and well presented.

Every child must take responsibility for their own actions! Often children complain that it's the teacher's fault that they never learn. Occassionally it is! Sadly, in many cases, a poor learning environment is down to just a very small minority who believe it is their right to play up and have fun instead of allowing the others to gain their right to an education.

I may be scary, but generally the scariness goes when the group have accepted and learned their responsibilities in the classroom.

I love my job! I love seeing children suddenly grasp an idea and begin to understand something which has previously always been just out of their mind's reach.

Most of all, I love seeing troublesome children learn the skills required to achieve their potential without the need to constantly disrupt.

I am so glad God has placed me in such a fulfilling career!

Back to school

Today, Laura goes to college. She's been working for 2 years now and has decided her life is going nowhere. So now she's taking the big step of going back full-time to study.

She's so nervous and insecure about what she's doing that she's coming up with lots of excuses not to go in. Even down to :My feet hurt!!! So we've put on elastoplasts and given them a kiss (not really!!!) and she's getting herself ready for her big day.

It's amazing how after a short time away from study, we can get so nervous about returning to it! I think of all the students we teach at school who are in the opposite boat and are nervous that they are out in the big world and have left the security of school life behind.

It seems that no matter what stage of our life we are in, change is always a scary thing! Insecurity can often ovewhelm us!

I'm glad I've got Jesus! He's there everyday. Before work yesterday I prayed for guidance and strength and also wisdom to know when I'd gone wrong! I spent most of the day getting wisdom! Oh boy what a day!

But I'm glad I had the Holy Spirit beside me all day! He held me and upheld me through all the things that confronted me and at no time, when I went wrong did he do anything other than nudge me into a realisation of my mistake.

Insecurity? No! Security! I'm held fast in loving arms!

Thank you Father!

Who am I?

I'm one of those people who really struggles with confidence. Or rather I was!

I've never been very secure about who I am. Never really had any belief in myself or value of myself. Yet God has been telling me so much recently about himself, that the one thing I know about myself has suddenly given me self-belief.

Over the past few months I have been aware of God's awesomeness, his holiness and his love of all his creation. I know his love is so great that he sacrificed his Son for me that I can come into his presence. But that isn't the end of his love, he continues to show his love daily by the presence of his Holy Spirit within me.

Yet what does all this mean to me as a person?

It means I am a child of the living God! I have been made pure and holy in his presence (how else could I be allowed into his throne room?).

Catching a glimpse of God, of who he is, of all he has done, is changing my life. Oh, my circumstances are bad, there's lots I can stress about but as a child of the living God I can just reach out and ask for his help. I don't have to worry about anything.

This sounds so glib, but getting an understanding of who I am and where I stand in his kingdom is radically changing my outlook on life, my confidence and certainly my self-esteem.

Yesterday we heard about the citizenship of a disciple. As a citizen we have rights and also responsibilities. Sadly in the kingdom of earth people are concentrating on their rights! Few are taking any notice of their responsibilities. If we are to live in the kingdom we have a duty to stick to our responsibilities, THEN the kingdom will give us the security which is rightfully ours.

Yesterday focussed on humility as a the main duty of a citizen of heaven. As a child of the living God I have authority on earth to do God's will, but I am also a person under the authority of God. I must live my life in submission to God's will, to humbly go about my life doing God's will, seeking only his glory in everything I do.

Today is the start of a new term. Two days without the pupils to prepare for the work ahead. My desire for today is to do God's will. That in everything I do, people catch a glimpse of God. I want people to see Jesus in all I do. The whinging, the moaning, "it's not fair", attitude is not part of God's kingdom. Instead a willingness to do what God wants me to do humbly means that I joyfully get on with the tasks set before me. Reaching out to God for strength and wisdom in all aspects of my life, constantly keeping an attitude of praise to God and humbly submitting my life to him is the key to living in God's kingdom.

Knowing who I am in God means dutifully carrying out my responsibilities that I may access the rights of a citizen of his kingdom.

Good citizenship - rights and responsibilities!